What's (In)fertility Coaching?

here to learn more about Life Coaching.)

When I was trying to have a baby, when I was in the midst of fertility treatments, I felt as if I'd gotten on a train that I couldn't (or wouldn't) get off of until I reached the final destination: giving birth to my baby. I was so focused on that destination that I rarely bothered to look out the window--rarely looked up from treatments, from worry, from the grief of failed efforts--to notice my life in the present, to care for my wellbeing gently and compassionately, and to tend lovingly to my relationship with my spouse. I felt alone and isolated, even though I wasn't alone on the ride.

I don't regret my fertility train-ride. Yet, I really wish I'd cared better for myself and my relationship while I was on it. That desire to better navigate my personal struggles with infertility—the physical, emotional, psychological, financial, and relationship stresses that I experienced—inspired me to become a Coach. 

Coaching* increases our personal satisfaction and helps us be “at choice” in our lives, even when life’s circumstances are really hard and leave us feeling like we have few choices. Coaching helps us live more fully in the present, even a present we wish we didn't have. Coaching teaches us effective communication tools to use with loved ones, including spouses, as well as colleagues and the gamut of professionals we often encounter on our fertility journeys, e.g., doctors, lab technicians, pharmacists, insurers, and others from whom we seek assistance or counsel.

Infertility often throws our sense of self, our capacity for joy and fulfillment, and our relationships into turmoil. It renders us feeling helpless, broken and frustrated. Plus, time pressures—like the proverbial ticking clock—pose a challenge to living in the present when that present is focused on a future family. For couples, financial stress adds yet another layer of difficulty, especially since research shows that spouses often have different attitudes about money and different spending and saving styles and priorities.

Your Coach will be your advocate and a guide to feeling deeply supported. Your Coach will work tirelessly to help you find a greater sense of personal empowerment at a time when you feel powerless in your own body and in the company of health professionals who seem to hold so much power. Your Coach will be relentlessly and passionately devoted to your fulfillment right now, so you don’t wake up one day only to realize you’ve been so worried about the future that you forgot about the present. Your Coach will remind you of who you are at your best, and of your ability to overcome obstacles both individually and with your spouse. All of this is especially crucial at a time when many of us defer to a voice in our heads that tells us we’re inadequate, ineffective. Coaching offers you and your spouse a toolbox for postivie communication, mutual understanding, constructive conflict, and teamwork, whether you're on the same page about your fertility game-plan, or grappling with differences.*

Treating infertility is expensive, no doubt about it. That makes it hard to imagine spending even more. But if I had to do it all again, I’d hire a Coach. Because reducing your stress, increasing your fulfillment & nurturing your relationship are all well worth it.

To find out more about Coaching or to book a complimentary individual or couples coaching session, email me at Rhona@fortedreams.com.

* Coaching, and the services provided by a Coach are not, and should not be construed as, a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric, or medical advice, diagnosis, counseling, or treatment